For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. - Romans 8:15
God has adopted us into His family so we as families on earth should offer the same to orphans. Adoption websites promote having the 'heart of God' toward the fatherless. Pictures of cute, adorable and sometimes hungry children fill these sites. We're encouraged to become that 'forever family' that will satisfy the needs of these orphan's hearts. Very noble, isn't it?
Yes, it certainly is.
However if you know someone who has adopted or read books about the long term results of adoption, then you've probably learned 'the other side of the coin'. Adopted children don't easily accept their new parents as their own. They often reject and test the family's values in an extreme way. These new members can intentionally or unintentionally bring division between existing siblings or between husband and wife. Even if that doesn't happen, the new parents can find themselves struggling in their marriage as a result of the stress of trying to win the child's heart and affections. The child often begins to long for his former family and their ways. Upon reaching the teen years, the child can struggle with identity and often with appropriate boundaries. It may take years for them to accept the new family. And some never do.
Hey....if adoption is so much the heart of God, why is it so difficult and messy? Are we missing something? Are we doing something wrong?
What does God do in the adoption process that works better? He's the Perfect Parent, right? He absolutely is. That's why all of His adopted children assimilate all His values and trust Him completely and without hesitation. Well.....maybe not quite.
In the last week, I've begun to realize why adoption can be so messy and heart rending. It's not Plan A. Plan A was for Adam and Eve not to sin. Plan A was for the orphan's parents to provide a good, godly home for their children.
God's redemption plan is magnificent and some would say it really is Plan A. I'm not going to get into that, but in all honesty, God's adopted children just aren't very cooperative. Read the Bible. Kings fall out of greed and lust for power and women. God's chosen people complain and want back in Egypt to their old life and reject the abundant fruit of the promised land. And, just look around at the present church. Once fruitful members, slip into temptation and sin. People make decisions based on what they want rather than what God wants. People are still uncertain about trusting God, the perfect Father, the omnipotent, omniscient One who knows nothing but Love.
It appears to me that for adoption to be fruitful, it involves the choice of the new parents to embrace the orphan as their own. Then it involves the child receiving that gift and being willing to trust the parents to provide, guide and protect. Not an easy thing when your heart has been broken by sin and tainted by sin's influences. The gift of adoption must be nurtured by both the parent and the child. It involves surrender to new authority, trust in an entity that is not familiar and obedience to new guidelines and processes. When one side or the other does not nurture the gift and cooperate then the adoption process is less than God intended it to be.
As we see how messy things can get for humans and even when adopted into God's perfect family, we may want to shy away from taking on adoption ourselves. Surely, by now, God has given up on the process Himself, right? Enough of this ungrateful and rebellious response to such sacrificial love? Yet God still adopts, risks and gives chances.
This is the love that needs to motivate us into earthly adoption. An attitude that wants to give and wants to love with no guarantee of success or return. Adoption should cause us to give our very best effort just because we value the person, the process and the God who created them both. Church, let's keep adopting even when it's messy. THIS is the spirit of adoption.
God has adopted us into His family so we as families on earth should offer the same to orphans. Adoption websites promote having the 'heart of God' toward the fatherless. Pictures of cute, adorable and sometimes hungry children fill these sites. We're encouraged to become that 'forever family' that will satisfy the needs of these orphan's hearts. Very noble, isn't it?
Yes, it certainly is.
However if you know someone who has adopted or read books about the long term results of adoption, then you've probably learned 'the other side of the coin'. Adopted children don't easily accept their new parents as their own. They often reject and test the family's values in an extreme way. These new members can intentionally or unintentionally bring division between existing siblings or between husband and wife. Even if that doesn't happen, the new parents can find themselves struggling in their marriage as a result of the stress of trying to win the child's heart and affections. The child often begins to long for his former family and their ways. Upon reaching the teen years, the child can struggle with identity and often with appropriate boundaries. It may take years for them to accept the new family. And some never do.
Hey....if adoption is so much the heart of God, why is it so difficult and messy? Are we missing something? Are we doing something wrong?
What does God do in the adoption process that works better? He's the Perfect Parent, right? He absolutely is. That's why all of His adopted children assimilate all His values and trust Him completely and without hesitation. Well.....maybe not quite.
In the last week, I've begun to realize why adoption can be so messy and heart rending. It's not Plan A. Plan A was for Adam and Eve not to sin. Plan A was for the orphan's parents to provide a good, godly home for their children.
God's redemption plan is magnificent and some would say it really is Plan A. I'm not going to get into that, but in all honesty, God's adopted children just aren't very cooperative. Read the Bible. Kings fall out of greed and lust for power and women. God's chosen people complain and want back in Egypt to their old life and reject the abundant fruit of the promised land. And, just look around at the present church. Once fruitful members, slip into temptation and sin. People make decisions based on what they want rather than what God wants. People are still uncertain about trusting God, the perfect Father, the omnipotent, omniscient One who knows nothing but Love.
It appears to me that for adoption to be fruitful, it involves the choice of the new parents to embrace the orphan as their own. Then it involves the child receiving that gift and being willing to trust the parents to provide, guide and protect. Not an easy thing when your heart has been broken by sin and tainted by sin's influences. The gift of adoption must be nurtured by both the parent and the child. It involves surrender to new authority, trust in an entity that is not familiar and obedience to new guidelines and processes. When one side or the other does not nurture the gift and cooperate then the adoption process is less than God intended it to be.
As we see how messy things can get for humans and even when adopted into God's perfect family, we may want to shy away from taking on adoption ourselves. Surely, by now, God has given up on the process Himself, right? Enough of this ungrateful and rebellious response to such sacrificial love? Yet God still adopts, risks and gives chances.
This is the love that needs to motivate us into earthly adoption. An attitude that wants to give and wants to love with no guarantee of success or return. Adoption should cause us to give our very best effort just because we value the person, the process and the God who created them both. Church, let's keep adopting even when it's messy. THIS is the spirit of adoption.
Love you mom!!!! So glad you adopted me!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so super glad we did too!!
ReplyDelete