Knowing our Sheep
One on One Discipleship
By Karin Litchfield
John 10:3b says about Jesus: 'and He calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.". Knowing sheep by name when you have a multitude of them takes some time investment and interaction!
Shepherding is frequently talked about in the Bible. Jesus is a shepherd and pastors are shepherds. I'm going to use it today in context of a Christian family with the parents being shepherds of the sheep or the children.
Another verse I want to bring to our minds is Proverbs 27:23: "Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds.". Again, a verse about shepherding, but I believe the principal is broader than that. Take care of what has been given to you and make sure you know the state of it so that you can best establish your household.
Transferring these thoughts to our children means that we know each of them intimately and they see Jesus in us and trust us so that they will follow our voice and His voice.
Parents can be so busy that it is hard to zone in to our kids' worlds at times. Our children can be struggling with something or wanting to talk through a dream of theirs, but it doesn't happen because we are too preoccupied.
These are all good reasons to have one-on-one time with each of our children on a regular basis. Some parents choose to take their child on a date on a monthly basis or even more frequently. This could be an expense free day like a trip to the grocery store with just the two of you or something with more cost like a nice meal or something in between like going out for an ice cream cone or a Coke.
I also made time for dates at home. Each child would have a certain night of the week where they could stay up longer than the other children for 30 minutes. This time was spent with me. We could talk about whatever they wanted to talk about. I would ask questions to try to get them thinking about areas to discuss. You could also spend this time reading to them a book that they would enjoy. A discipleship book is also a good thing to go through. The other children who had already gone to bed were allowed 30 minutes of quiet time in their rooms until their sibling went to bed as well.
One on one time can also be a home project. Sons can help their fathers with home repair or improvement. Fathers and sons can build things together for their enjoyment. They can go golfing or to a father-son retreat together. Fixing an engine or going on a hike using navigational tools can offer opportunities for conversation. My husband took our two boys to a men's prayer meeting every week once they were teenagers. He also had them help him on many a project around the home.
While my husband and two sons were at mens prayer meeting together, my daughters and I would get together and do a character study and sometimes a craft.
You may have heard it said that when a teenager wants to talk, be prepared for staying up late at night! When they are open to talking, try to make every effort to let them talk themselves out.
We responded with grace to their struggles and weaknesses during these conversations. Yes we encourage them to have biblical responses to these struggles but we were non-judgmental. During these times, you can hear about temptations they are having with the opposite sex, struggles with friends, issues with siblings, fears they may be experiencing, ways they are inwardly struggling with certain rules or certain authorities, joys or hardships during their devotional time, insecurities about their self-worth, goals they have, spiritual vision that they are gaining. The list goes on! Our children are beautiful and complex creatures made in the image of God and we need to know them in order to help them learn how to navigate as many areas of life as possible!
As we spend time with our children, we will fall more deeply in love with them. We will know better how to pray for them. As we listen to them, care about them and thoughtfully answer them, they will grow to trust and respect us more. Spending time with our "sheep" in a timely and regular fashion, can only bring good results.
Resources
www.myjoyfilledlife.com/character
