How clearly I remember the turmoil we were in a few years ago at a family camp in Missouri. The family camp was not the problem....but issues with our foster daughter were. We had driven 15 hours straight through to get there and we were all tired and wanted to rest a few minutes on our bunks after unloading the vehicles. Hannah had different ideas and when we insisted, she rebelled. I remember the screaming, the refusing to stay on her bunk or even in our room, the hitting. The high point being a cold stare given to Don with a "What are you going to do about it?" look after a hard shoe was thrown with energy into Mikah who was sitting at the side trying to stay out of it. Obviously, there was no rest that afternoon before heading to the evening service. This wasn't the end. It seemed much of the weekend was spent putting out 'fires' - one of the worst having a runaway ward of the state when you're not in that state. Not looked upon as good by the social worker. Well, we got through that weekend barely, and many other times like it.
Now, I cannot imagine our daughter acting in such a riotous manner! I am fairly certain we will never have a weekend like that again! What has brought about the changes? Adoption and security some would say. A work of salvation others would say. Proper discipline would be another guess.
As you can imagine, all three of these have played a role in the changes we are seeing. But, as I reflect on our limited experience with foster children and child evangelism, I have thought hard about what it means for a child to be saved and what we should expect from that powerful experience. Ariana had had a salvation experience at the time of this family camp episode. A few years before, we had 3 foster boys who had received the Lord in their hearts as well. Of these 4 foster children, the biggest change we saw through their 'salvations' was a greater sensitivity to right and wrong and a better sensitivity to spiritual things...but the actual changes in behavior seemed to be minimal. So the questions ran through our minds.....did they really get saved? How could they be saved and still continue in this ungodly behavior? They are more repentant now and more frustrated with themselves but why not more change?
Now, I'm going to admit I'm going into surmising with my non-theological mind, and I'm not establishing truths....I am just thinking and encouraging others to think. My surmising is that God did not ideally intend for salvation to work and stand alone and to be the end all without compliance to God's plans. Yes, salvation has everything we need in it....but does that mean that love and security are optional in a child's life? Does that mean that teaching a child to deny himself is optional? As long as he's SAVED does that really mean we don't need all these other things? Maybe you're getting my drift a little.
I believe any of these foster children could keep chipping away at endeavoring to do God's will and in a three steps forward and two or three steps backward method eventually learn how to walk with God, deny themselves and accept God's unconditional love. Yes, it could happen. The Holy Spirit CAN lead them and enable them. But, in most cases, its' a hard road and the chances are great that they could be sidelined. The chances are great that even though they have good intentions they will be still wounded enough and recovering by the time they are married and have children that the next generation will still suffer.
This is where I see parent power coming in. God has an ideal plan and things work best when we adhere to it. It involves using God's tools to enable this child to do and be all God wants HIm to be....leading him to salvation and then to a heart and will that can utilize consistent obedience thereafter.
Our daughter's greatest spiritual growth came not in the first year after she was saved and was still a foster child, but in the few years after being adopted, secure, disciplined, home schooled. It's not that the Holy Spirit was not enough...I don't really know how to say it....but perhaps there are certain spiritual laws which had been broken in her life and really needed to be fixed....and a PARENT needed to do it in hand with the Spirit.
That said, we are still struggling, though gaining, because the wounds of the first 8 years of our daughters life are not fixed overnight.
Sometimes when wounded adults get saved, the church needs to be that parent to offer the love, guidance and discipline a new convert needs. I am beginning to believe it can be unfair to walk away from new converts who are failing at this walk and just say, "They weren't really saved." Perhaps they have no concept of self denial, of accepting God's unconditional love in order to get up and try again. Can we be that support for them if they are willing to let us be that parent in the Spirit? It takes a lot of time and effort....but isn't it worth it? I realize there are way too many people in our country who claim to be saved, but resist godliness. I'm not talking about them.
I'm wondering if it's unfair when these wounded traumatized, poorly trained children accept Christ's forgiveness and love to expect them to "get over it" so suddenly. Yes, Jesus is able to help them overcome everything right away....but as we know....it takes LETTING Him take over, and perhaps that is where they need help. Learning to yield to a parent may need to come first. Learning how trusting and yielding to authority brings good fruit.
God's grace is great, and can overcome any obstacle, but let's not overlook the joint power of God's grace along with obedience to the paths of the Lord.
So these are my thoughts are parent power. Incomplete, I'm sure....
Now, I cannot imagine our daughter acting in such a riotous manner! I am fairly certain we will never have a weekend like that again! What has brought about the changes? Adoption and security some would say. A work of salvation others would say. Proper discipline would be another guess.
As you can imagine, all three of these have played a role in the changes we are seeing. But, as I reflect on our limited experience with foster children and child evangelism, I have thought hard about what it means for a child to be saved and what we should expect from that powerful experience. Ariana had had a salvation experience at the time of this family camp episode. A few years before, we had 3 foster boys who had received the Lord in their hearts as well. Of these 4 foster children, the biggest change we saw through their 'salvations' was a greater sensitivity to right and wrong and a better sensitivity to spiritual things...but the actual changes in behavior seemed to be minimal. So the questions ran through our minds.....did they really get saved? How could they be saved and still continue in this ungodly behavior? They are more repentant now and more frustrated with themselves but why not more change?
Now, I'm going to admit I'm going into surmising with my non-theological mind, and I'm not establishing truths....I am just thinking and encouraging others to think. My surmising is that God did not ideally intend for salvation to work and stand alone and to be the end all without compliance to God's plans. Yes, salvation has everything we need in it....but does that mean that love and security are optional in a child's life? Does that mean that teaching a child to deny himself is optional? As long as he's SAVED does that really mean we don't need all these other things? Maybe you're getting my drift a little.
I believe any of these foster children could keep chipping away at endeavoring to do God's will and in a three steps forward and two or three steps backward method eventually learn how to walk with God, deny themselves and accept God's unconditional love. Yes, it could happen. The Holy Spirit CAN lead them and enable them. But, in most cases, its' a hard road and the chances are great that they could be sidelined. The chances are great that even though they have good intentions they will be still wounded enough and recovering by the time they are married and have children that the next generation will still suffer.
This is where I see parent power coming in. God has an ideal plan and things work best when we adhere to it. It involves using God's tools to enable this child to do and be all God wants HIm to be....leading him to salvation and then to a heart and will that can utilize consistent obedience thereafter.
Our daughter's greatest spiritual growth came not in the first year after she was saved and was still a foster child, but in the few years after being adopted, secure, disciplined, home schooled. It's not that the Holy Spirit was not enough...I don't really know how to say it....but perhaps there are certain spiritual laws which had been broken in her life and really needed to be fixed....and a PARENT needed to do it in hand with the Spirit.
That said, we are still struggling, though gaining, because the wounds of the first 8 years of our daughters life are not fixed overnight.
Sometimes when wounded adults get saved, the church needs to be that parent to offer the love, guidance and discipline a new convert needs. I am beginning to believe it can be unfair to walk away from new converts who are failing at this walk and just say, "They weren't really saved." Perhaps they have no concept of self denial, of accepting God's unconditional love in order to get up and try again. Can we be that support for them if they are willing to let us be that parent in the Spirit? It takes a lot of time and effort....but isn't it worth it? I realize there are way too many people in our country who claim to be saved, but resist godliness. I'm not talking about them.
I'm wondering if it's unfair when these wounded traumatized, poorly trained children accept Christ's forgiveness and love to expect them to "get over it" so suddenly. Yes, Jesus is able to help them overcome everything right away....but as we know....it takes LETTING Him take over, and perhaps that is where they need help. Learning to yield to a parent may need to come first. Learning how trusting and yielding to authority brings good fruit.
God's grace is great, and can overcome any obstacle, but let's not overlook the joint power of God's grace along with obedience to the paths of the Lord.
So these are my thoughts are parent power. Incomplete, I'm sure....
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