WHO Said That??

 WHO Said That???

By Karin Litchfield

Child: "I keep making the same stupid mistake over and over again. I'll never be able to obey God consistently."

Insightful Parent: "Now, WHO said that?"

The question, "Who said that?" could be one of the most important questions that you ask your child as they get older, and certainly one of the best questions to teach your child to ask themselves.

The bottom line is: a thought that is expressed like the one above is either a thought from the Lord or it is a thought from the enemy. Teaching our child how to discern who these thoughts are from is crucial in them obtaining victory over the enemie’s thoughts and, hence, claiming what Jesus says.

Think about the statement above. "I keep making the same stupid mistake over and over again. I'll never be able to obey God consistently."

How does that align with scriptures like: 

Ii Timothy 1:7  “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Philippians 4:13  “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Let's try a couple more statements and contradictions in Scripture.

"I am so ugly, no one will ever love me." 

    God says: "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."  Psalm 139:14

"I will never be good enough to have friends/spouse/a good job."

    God says:  "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8

The concept of "Who said that?" becomes all the more important when we think of it as who, in our heart and spirit, are we agreeing with? Are we agreeing with God? Or are we agreeing with Satan?  Teaching our children how we do not want to make an agreement with Satan, can open their eyes to this deception. We want to be in agreement with God who has the very best in mind for us. Therefore, as we are taking every thought captive, we are casting out the thoughts that are not from the Lord. This is a good lesson for us as parents too, isn't it?

So, next time your child comes to you discouraged and makes disparaging statements, don't try to just be positive, ask them, "Now, WHO said that?". 😊

Knowing our Sheep

One on One Discipleship

By Karin Litchfield

John 10:3b says about Jesus: 'and He calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.". Knowing sheep by name when you have a multitude of them takes some time investment and interaction!

Shepherding is frequently talked about in the Bible. Jesus is a shepherd and pastors are shepherds. I'm going to use it today in context of a Christian family with the parents being shepherds of the sheep or the children.

Another verse I want to bring to our minds is Proverbs 27:23: "Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds.". Again, a verse about shepherding, but I believe the principal is broader than that. Take care of what has been given to you and make sure you know the state of it so that you can best establish your household.

Transferring these thoughts to our children means that we know each of them intimately and they see Jesus in us and trust us so that they will follow our voice and His voice.

Parents can be so busy that it is hard to zone in to our kids' worlds at times. Our children can be struggling with something or wanting to talk through a dream of theirs, but it doesn't happen because we are too preoccupied.

These are all good reasons to have one-on-one time with each of our children on a regular basis. Some parents choose to take their child on a date on a monthly basis or even more frequently. This could be an expense free day like a trip to the grocery store with just the two of you or something with more cost like a nice meal or something in between like going out for an ice cream cone or a Coke.

I also made time for dates at home. Each child would have a certain night of the week where they could stay up longer than the other children for 30 minutes. This time was spent with me. We could talk about whatever they wanted to talk about.  I would ask questions to try to get them thinking about areas to discuss. You could also spend this time reading to them a book that they would enjoy. A discipleship book is also a good thing to go through. The other children who had already gone to bed were allowed 30 minutes of quiet time in their rooms until their sibling went to bed as well.

One on one time can also be a home project. Sons can help their fathers with home repair or improvement. Fathers and sons can build things together for their enjoyment. They can go golfing or to a father-son retreat together. Fixing an engine or going on a hike using navigational tools can offer opportunities for conversation. My husband took our two boys to a men's prayer meeting every week once they were teenagers. He also had them help him on many a project around the home.

While my husband and two sons were at mens prayer meeting together, my daughters and I would get together and do a character study and sometimes a craft.

You may have heard it said that when a teenager wants to talk, be prepared for staying up late at night! When they are open to talking, try to make every effort to let them talk themselves out.

We responded with grace to their struggles and weaknesses during these conversations. Yes we encourage them to have biblical responses to these struggles but we were non-judgmental. During these times, you can hear about temptations they are having with the opposite sex, struggles with friends, issues with siblings, fears they may be experiencing, ways they are inwardly struggling with certain rules or certain authorities, joys or hardships during their devotional time, insecurities about their self-worth, goals they have, spiritual vision that they are gaining. The list goes on! Our children are beautiful and complex creatures made in the image of God and we need to know them in order to help them learn how to navigate as many areas of life as possible!

As we spend time with our children, we will fall more deeply in love with them. We will know better how to pray for them. As we listen to them, care about them and thoughtfully answer them, they will grow to trust and respect us more.  Spending time with our "sheep" in a timely and regular fashion, can only bring good results.

Resources

www.doorposts.com

www.reviveourhearts.com

www.myjoyfilledlife.com/character 

The "Make it an Obedience Issue" Trick!!

 The "Make it an Obedience Issue" Trick!!

So you might have it down clearly in your mind and heart that your children need to be trained to obey the first time they are told and to obey cheerfully.  That is really central and will go a long way in helping our children have fruitful lives for the Kingdom!

But then there are issues that seem less clear of how to correct. I've heard moms say things like, "My child obeys fine, but when it comes to them getting tired in the evenings then they are so emotional and just fall apart!" Or I have heard, "My child is so broken-hearted after being corrected or rebuked that they sob and sob and sob!". Then there are comments like, "They are willing to do the dishes when I ask them but will not initiate it on their own, and then they do it the way they like to do it and not the way I like it done!"

This article is just basically giving you permission to make any of these things and more "an obedience issue"!  This may sound simplistic but you can just issue a command as a parent which specifically addresses the problem and expect there to be a response that indicates obedience to your command.

Here are some examples referring to the issues above:

• I know you are really tired, but I do not want to hear anymore negative comments, or you will be disciplined accordingly!

• I know you are really tired, but I want you to wipe that frown off your face and smile at me immediately!  (Accepting any effort at a smile)

• I am very thankful that you are so repentant and sorry that you displeased your parents. However, that is enough crying. I have forgiven you and God has forgiven you if you have asked Him, and neither He nor I want you to wallow in despair.  If I do not see you making an effort to suck it up then there will be consequences again.

• You know that after supper every Wednesday you are to clear the table and do the dishes and I expect you to do it next Wednesday without a reminder from me or there will be a consequence! (Then give them some ideas of how to remind themselves and leave it there)

• This is my kitchen and my dishes and when you do the chores I expect you to respect the way that I want them to be done. So from now on, I want you to find out exactly how I want them to be done by asking me and then you can discuss with me ways you think it could be better.  If I do not accept your ideas, then I expect them to be done the way I originally indicated.

Really, there is no reason for a parent to complain helplessly about any behavior that they do not like in their child. We, as parents, are expected to resolve these issues and the Lord has given us the ability to do so.  We may need to take it to the Lord in prayer, and/or ask a trusted mentor. Sometimes we just don't know how to tackle a problem because we haven't given a command and made it an obedience issue. Once the issue is resolved, we will be so pleased and we will be able to rejoice in having obedient children while minimizing the annoyances that we regularly can feel!  In most cases, the problems that we are having are character problems in our children which need to be addressed anyway.  Make it an obedience issue!!

As For Me and My House

Most of us are familiar with people who have said that they raised their children in church and the way they should go, but the children decided at some point that that is not what they wanted to do. The parent then explains to us that it's the child's choice and we cannot force it. This explanation leaves us a little frightened and concerned that our children might do the same thing and it is not a satisfactory option for most of us. Yet, who wants to be accused of forcing and coercing their children to follow God?

The title of this article is taken from scripture and has the words of Joshua.  Apparently Joshua decided his whole household would serve the Lord. We don't have any record that he asked them what they wanted to do.  We also have two examples in Acts 16 of people who believed along with their household.  The jailer who was responsible for Paul and Silas believed with great joy as well as his household. I believe his joy in coming to know Christ was a factor in pulling his family in. Then there is Lydia who was baptized with her household. Could it be her example of service and her love for Jesus and His followers compelled her family to believe as well?  I don't think any of us could disagree with the idea that neither this jailer nor Lydia went home with a controlling, insensitive attitude and simply insisted that this is what the whole family was going to do! It only seems reasonable knowing the scriptures and knowing God that the they would have come home excited and so grateful for the Lord's intervention and so in awe of God's power that their families were pulled in along with them!  Song of Solomon says in chapter 1 verse 4, "Draw me away! We will run after you."

Isn't that what we all want?  Our hearts desire is that our children will so see God in us in and in other belivers around them that they will be drawn in.  Our love for the Lord and our love for scripture are so important.  We also need a consistency and obedience to that word of God with a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. These are the elements that lay the groundwork for a household that yearns after God.

Once we have this groundwork in place, we can recognize the role we have as parents in establishing spiritual habits that are life changing for our children. Children are made impressionable so that we can impress God on their hearts. In Genesis 18:19, the Lord says that he chose Abraham "that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way the Lord by doing righteousness and justice".

So first of all, we make sure our hearts are right with the Lord and our attitudes are clear with people, then we are prepared to instill these spiritual habits in our children. If we skip the first step, then we will drive them away rather than gather them in with us.

That said, there is danger in letting our children choose which way they want to go without putting effort into making sure that the gospel is as appealing as it should be to our family. Why is it dangerous to let the children just choose without the training in the way they should go? It's because the flesh will more often than not choose the way of selfish indulgence. Therefore, we must endeavor to instill habits that are engulfing spiritual disciplines. Let's get started with some ideas.

Self denial: this discipline is essential to all the others I believe. We instill self denial by training them in first time cheerful obedience. We build upon that with instruction in doing God's will in other areas of personal discipline and service to others.  Matthew 16:24

Devotions: after hearing most of my friends in Christian circles saying that they had a hard time disciplining themselves to have daily devotions, I decided our children would learn that habit early. Starting as toddlers, we would set our child down in the morning with a Bible story picture book and instruct them to look through it. This exercise may only take a minute or two but it became a routine. This routine grew into longer sessions as they learned to read and we gave them appropriate lengths of scripture to read and helped them create a prayer and praise list. Mark 1:35, Psalm 119:48

Regular Church attendance when the doors of the church were open: extracurricular activities did not take us away from church. We expressed our desire to be with God's people and we expressed our appreciation for what we learned and how we were blessed. Hebrews 10:25

Loving the saints and prayer warriors: we would talk about the saints and prayer warriors in our church in a positive way. They were our heroes. They were who we wanted to emulate. It came to be at birthdays that our children would invite these adults to their parties before even their peers! 

Loving the carnal: we did not deny the fact that there were carnal Christians amongst us. When our children would struggle with this, we would have acknowledgment that what the carnal Christian was doing was wrong, We also would have discussion about how we all are in the process of growing and we need to give each other grace. We would discuss some of the positive things in these person's lives. We also would talk about prayer for these individuals. There would be instruction on how to respond when carnal things were said or done. They also would see us reach out to these carnal ones and not avoid them. 1 Peter 2:17

Participation in church: We explained to our children what a blessing it is to the older ones and what a challenge it is to their peers when children and young people obey God in church. Explain that we are a Christian family and you want to help lift the arms of the pastor and not make him drag us along. At this point, you can tell them that you would like them to say a quick praise the Lord during testimony time the next Sunday. Also that you would like for them to start saying a short prayer in prayer meeting. This is especially important for those who are more shy and introverted. Once they do it, there is much affirmation and encouragement that they are participating in the body of Christ and being obedient to the Lord. Ephesians 4:16, 1 Timothy 4:12

Being Kingdom focused: we allowed our children to see us make decisions that were Kingdom focused. We exposed them to our thought processes about why we did or did not do any particular extracurricular activity. If we were deciding about where to go on vacation, did we have godly direction or godly purpose? And on our way there, we would memorize hymns together and listen to godly stories together.  If they learned a musical instrument, it was for the purpose of using for God's glory in worship. If we were helping them develop another gift academically or a life skill, it would be worded in the context of this is how you can use this for God someday.  They saw us seeking the Lord and his guidance about where we were to live, how we were to school them as well as other areas like what we watched, what we wore,spent money on or how we spent our spare time. Matthew 6:33

Despise a critical spirit: I believe disregarding this instruction has killed many young people spiritually. When they hear us criticizing the pastor, other people in church or other groups who believe differently than we do, we are creating a negative environment and not one of love.  Don't get me wrong. We definitely told our children why we did the things we did and why we didn't do them as some others do them. We based it on scripture and scriptural thinking the best we knew, but we always encouraged them not to be critical of others who felt differently. We also encouraged them to stand firm in scriptural thinking no matter how others responded. James 4:11

Seek the Holy Spirit's guidance: our children saw us praying about decisions and endeavoring to make it a high priority to do what God wanted rather than what we wanted or rather than what others expected of us. We also asked them if they were making decisions to spend some time and pray about it. If they felt the Lord leading for something, we would respect it if it fell within scriptural boundaries. Romans 8:14

Share Christ: we can exemplify having a witness when we are out and about or when we are in discussions with neighbors or friends. We can also take our children out to pass out tracts and do door to door witnessing.  We can start a Bible club with the needy in the area.  We can all work together to raise money for a short-term mission trip. This is an extension of being Kingdom focused. Mark 16:15

All of these things take a lot of time and energy don't they?  But I believe that, even though this is not an exhaustive list, it is enough that our children will start understanding that it takes all of our mind, our heart, and our strength to follow God…and as they see our joy in doing it, they will know it is well worth the effort!

Be careful about saying things like, "this is my house and this is what we're going to do and when you're 18 you can do something different" or "this is the way our church believes so that's why we're going to do it and you can go to a different church when you're older if you want to".  When we say such things, we are making our beliefs sound optional and disposable if disciplines are undesirable to us.  We want to focus on expanding on the good in what we choose to do and on the scriptural basis for it. We also want to have an expectation that they will reap the most out of life if they maintain what they've been taught and even build on it as they get older.

 Each family will be led by the Lord fitting to the needs of the family.  Each child will process things differently and come to the Lord at a different time in their life. We all need to be in tune with the Spirit and sensitive to our relationship with our children and our spouse. I am not trying to set fast and bound rules for families. I am just sharing how the Lord led us and what bore fruit in our case.  I believe we can do much to bring our whole household along to serve the Lord. There is no reason to be overbearing, controlling and carnal in raising our children. This is destructive.   However, we will never regret spending our lives living for the Lord with joy and training our children to do likewise.

Thou Preparest a Table Before Me

An article to encourage you to sit at that table on a daily basis!

The morning sun peeked in my window causing me to awaken.  I stretched my arms as I looked around my room.  Ahhhh…..gratefulness warms my heart as I see my table prepared for me once again.  The faithfulness and generosity of my Lord is beyond measure and understanding.   I slip out of bed and slide into my chair…made exactly to my dimensions and softly padded with perfection.   My Lord slips my robe over my shoulders.  With it’s weight,   I immediately feel the security, the love and the value this royal robe transfers to my inner most being.  I sigh with a relief;  a contentment, and I feel my soul rise to meet the morning with dignity.

The tablecloth radiates a pure white.  Elaborate stitching on the cloth carves out flowers, vines and fruit.  The thread is also pure white dusted with a glitter of gold.   A centerpiece in the midst of the table holds a tall, clear sapphire vase with an assortment of my favorite scented flowers…..hyacinths, lilacs, roses.   The fragrance is heavenly and as I inhale deeply, I feel an anointing and a holy energy flow through my veins.   His presence and His love surround me without and fill me within.

What a table my Lord has spread!   I see Him step near and his beautiful hands reach out to lift the silver carafe.   It is full of the wine of joy and gladness!  I admire the smoothness of the skin of His hands and the gentle manner in which they move as He fills my golden goblet full of the rich drink.   I hardly can hold back my eagerness as I reach forward to drink deeply from the heavy goblet.   As the smooth  liquid glides down my throat, my heart begins to sing praises to my King!  His joy is without measure!

My plate is also of fine gold.   Around the edges are carvings of majestic trees bearing fruit.  Each leaf appears to be intricately formed.   My utensils shine and await the touch of my hands.   My napkin feels like silk as I place it on my lap.    Not only is the wine abundant, but the feast of food begins to come.   As much as I want….as much as I have time for.   Savory stews, tender meats, vegetables with sauces, desserts with delicate and bold flavors.   Each dish meets a need within me.   His strength infuses every fiber of my being.   With His provision, there is no fear of lack.  With his strength, there is no danger of failure.  

His equipping is complete.  My enemies have no power over me.  They have watched with fury and trembling the love, care and empowerment I have received.  Nothing can compete with His provision.   Not only has it been adequate, it has been abundant beyond measure.  

I rest.  I bask.  I do not deserve this table.  Yet, I need it so deeply.  It satisfies the longings of my heart.  It edifies me.   It prepares me for the battle that I face yet ahead.   I scoot back my chair, grab my sword, and step forward with confidence. 

Love Like an Ocean

Many couples say when their first child is born, "How could I possibly love any future children of ours as much as this one??"  Some are even so concerned that they hesitate to have more children because of this fear.   Of course, once we have that 2nd, 3rd, 4th and more children, that fear is eliminated completely!   God has given us the ability to love deeply....and there's no limit to how many people that can touch.

I remember someone asking my mother years ago if she found it hard to love her two adopted children as much as her biological.   My young ears tuned in to hear what she had to say!   She responded without hesitation that there was no difference!    I can now fully understand what my mother was saying.   Ariana has lived with us going on 8 years now, and my love for her is deep as it would be for a biological child.   Yes, I regretted not having more biological children, but having an adopted child is at least as rewarding!   I definitely can't say I would rather have had more biological children than to have been able to adopt two children as we have been!   Or the other way around!   Having more children biologically or adopting.....which is better??   Neither is better.  They're both great!   Pursue both or either one!   You can't lose when loving children and taking them into your home!!  It's God's design.

As an update, we will travel to India on March 12 to visit our four grandchildren there.  Then on the 23rd of March, we will go to China and pick up Xiao Man a couple days later.   We will finish up our paperwork for a week and come home with our new daughter on April 5!   I called her 'Lydia' in the last post, but that was the American name the orphanage gave her.   We have chosen Avigail Hope to be her Litchfield name.   We are very excited!

God has provided in an amazing way this past year!!   The finance has come in in a wonderfully!   We don't even make in one year what this adoption costs and we are having to give very little out of our pocket! Yet,  I've felt like I've had a part time job this past year just filling out all the forms for the adoption and the grants!   We know that the way God has helped with paperwork and the costs that He intends to help us in the years to come as we endeavor to love Avigail like an ocean!!   I have seen in a huge new way that God cares for the orphans and He will go out of His way to advocate for them to have families and homes.  We stepped onto the path of reaching out to orphans through adoption, and we very  quickly had God's winds in our sails as we ventured onto the waters.

We have been skyping every other week with Avi for a number of months now.   I can't tell you how delightful she has been to us!  We sing to her, Don reads her a story, she sings to us and we show her our home.   We're thankful for this time to bond!  This little girl has some major changes coming her way! 

I've started following some groups on FB that are about adopting children with Down syndrome.  Whoa!!!   I've been blown away by the excitement that has come by reading about the joy these children have brought into families!   People should be standing in line to get these children!!   We sit in our homes content with redecorating our living room or watching a ball game!!   What a contrast to choosing to invest in the lives of children who have no home and no loving parents to guide them through life and to teach them about Jesus! 

If I have good internet reception on our trip, I will keep everyone posted with pictures and updates!  Pray for our travels.   I'm not looking forward to the flights, but I know God will help us.

God's got love like an ocean!

Seasons of Life

When most couples are expecting a new baby, they get busy painting a bedroom, buying a crib, preparing a layette and making sure they have a good car seat!   The good news is that we are adding to our family, and here are part of our preparations -

Yep.  We're putting a good safety net on our trampoline, and you can see the chain link fence in the background that Don has also installed.  No cribs or diapers for us!  Going straight to bigger and better things! :-) We've done lots of paperwork, paperwork and then done some of it over several times!  We're excited to announce that this winter, Xiao Man (Lydia) from China will be joining our family!

Isn't she beautiful?  We already feel like we have a daughter across the world (and it isn't Morgan this time!).  In case you're wondering, Ariana is very excited to be a big sister to Lydia, and we know with her strong nurturing ability, she will do a great job.

Our home study is almost done and then our huge stack of paperwork will go to U.S. Immigration and then to the Chinese government before we get final approval!   Lydia was abandoned by her family 4 years ago near the orphanage for reasons we don't know.   The orphanage guesses her age to be around 11 years old.  

Why are we doing this in this season of life?  Because we CAN and because God has put the desire in our hearts.   When it looked like adopting Lydia could be a possibility for us, we were overwhelmed with what a  tremendous privilege it would be to spend the next couple decades parenting this girl. 

Keep praying for us as we proceed through the steps of this adoption.  Yes, it's expensive, but yet it's SO very reasonable when you consider that this is not just a car we're buying or a new boat or a vacation.....this is a delightful and beautiful child with an eternal soul!   How can you ever put a price on that?  God has assured us He will provide, and He has already begun.  Praise the Lord!  What a blessing to be granted the privilege to be on this journey!

Erasing the Evidence

Erasing Evidence

How long does it take to erase evidence of a year of grandchildren in your home? Going from a total of 7 grandchildren throughout the year living with you to none is quite an adjustment!  But what fun it was!! Our home and our hearts were full.  When I skype with these guys (and girls), I can’t believe I had that houseful of extreme cuteness and sweetness in my home!!

Now, a couple months later,  I’m still cleaning up and putting away.   Our attic has a “Street area” and a “Jake’s area” full of things that they couldn’t take with them.  The process is sad because you feel like you’re packing away memories with it.  Although the memories will never completely fade!!    Not only did we have these 7 live with us for awhile, we were able to see our remaining two grandchildren in Ireland!  Even as I speak of the things I miss, I am thankful God has made a way for them to be where He wants them to be!  But these memories are in honor of that wonderful year.

I miss Rees telling me of his outdoor adventures and seeing him build a birdhouse with his dad.  He liked to help me cook and did a good job!

It was amazing to watch Hadassah and Titus grow up so quickly within that first year!   I loved their special smiles they gave me that lit up the room!!

 I loved seeing Misha sitting on her Papa’s lap while he read her stories!

I loved seeing Andrew fishing in the pond with the boys and catching fish for our dinner.  And Andrew pulling the wagon behind the lawn mower full of boys and neighbor kids!

Swimming in the pond was so much more fun to watch and do with all you grandkids around!  I loved watching and counting the bobbing heads!

Justice learned to ride his bike at our house!

Do you think if I would have left the pile of child size shoes/boots by the back door, it would have made it easier??

Rees and Josiah loved building amazing things with blocks, legos…and showing them off to Nana and Papa!

The downstairs bathroom door was covered with fingerprints.   I told Mikah to leave them there and put a sticky note by them saying, “In memory of a visit from Amos and Justice….”  J

Not sure I can survive without finding my toiletry items in my dirty laundry bin in the basement….memories of Justice having fun throwing things down the laundry shoot!

Do I have to pick up EVERY plastic dinosaur and matchbox car I find in the sofa cushions and under the piano??? Who will return them to those places?

Who’s going to read all those children’s books on the shelves??

Did I really have to repaint the basement stairs and cover up all those scuff marks??  And the bathroom floor?

What to do about all these booster seats and carseats???

Where exactly am I supposed to put all these little boy’s stray socks???  Do you want them shipped, Morgan??  If I store them, will you bring the matches back in a couple years and the next ones wear them? J

This big box of school books that arrived after you left…..sitting in the guest room closet.

The swingset sits unused….

Who says, “Yay for Nana!!” at the supper table when I do the cooking??

Where’s the rambunctious boys keeping us up late at night?

What about the hearty greetings and hugs when I come home?   And the “Can I go with you” when I head to work or the store??

My homemade playdoh is dried up…..should I really  make more?

Then there’s their parents!  How can we say how much they were a blessing…the ladies with their cooking shopping and cleaning.   They were great companions around the house!  Andrew and Jake helped with ‘car’ maintenance questions and lended a hand to Don on home maintenance.   Don enjoyed talking theology with the guys.   Both couples were such a blessing to our church family, strengthening the body of Christ!   I had to keep reminding myself that just because they were such a great help here didn’t mean they were supposed to stay!  The same reason they were a great help was the reason why they were called to go!!  Christ in them, the hope of glory.

 I praise the Lord for all the memories of this last year.   Now it’s time for all of us to move on and wrestle with the next set of challenges God lays before us.  No, all the memories won’t be erased.  Some are vibrant and occur to me frequently, and some lay hidden only to arise upon occasion when bumped loose by something I see or hear.  The year was a gift from God and I will treasure it all!

Repairing the Walls

There aren't many Christians in America who would disagree that we have some crumbling walls in our nation.  Morally, there just isn't much left standing.  Our nation's desire for freedom has caused us to both neglect the maintenance of God's walls of protection or to even tear them down.

As I was reading in Nehemiah last week, I couldn't help but be struck with how pertinent some of the points were in that time when the walls of Jerusalem were in disrepair with how our land needs some careful attention.  This text has been used many times in this context and I am not a theologian, but I just wanted to share some things that would be unique to my vantage point.

My nearest vantage point has to do with my city, Defiance, and my home church.  Faith Family Fellowship.   My heart is stirred with how I see God raising repairmen for the walls.   In Nehemiah, God has listed the names of many of the repairman and even the parts of the walls they were working on.  Was that necessary for the meaning of the text?  Not necessarily for me, but it shows me that these people were doing an important work!  They focused on their part of the wall and did what they were called to do.   We have some road construction going on in the main part of Defiance and even some construction work being done on our courthouse, but when I read articles about the work in the paper, I don't see anything like, "John Smith is working on laying the asphalt between such and such streets." or "Harry Eglemeier is applying the shingles on the south side of the courthouse roof."  These construction workers are doing an important work, but it isn't anything like repairing God's city/kingdom.


 The Bible says that the repairman of the walls looked around and saw that the work was great!  this meant there was a lot to do!!  Yet, they each had to not become overwhelmed or get distracted by what was undone elsewhere and just focus on what their assignment was in front of them.  Our nation has need of great repairs!  To look at the whole task can be greatly overwhelming!   But, how is something like a wall repaired?  One block at a time.  Can we not take this back to our nation being repaired one family and one church at a time?  Then the families can take it back to one person at a time?

 Repairing the wall in our culture often means someone being light and truth.  Upholding biblical principles.  Being men and women of integrity and putting God's will first.  Men being true husbands and fathers.  Women being faithful mothers and wives.  People who are uncompromising in keeping sin out of their lifestyles and who speak truth in love.

I remember when I was raising my four older children.  I was homeschooling and we had a mini farm.  It kept me busy, but I was still tempted to do other things.  Money making opportuniites, charity work or church work, furthering my education, socializing.  I did all of these things to a degree, but I kept having to reign myself in and remind myself what was important.....raising and training my children for the Lord.  I couldn't fix the whole world.  I couldn't take in all the foster children I wanted....and so on.   This was my wall to build .....this was my donation to the repair of my country's walls.  It seemed narrow minded at times and very limited in scope.  In a way it was, but now I see how their influences are used in our countries and in other countries around the world.

 Last Sunday, we had a beautiful missions church service followed by a baptism of five of our church members from ages 7-40 something.  My heart was filled with thankfulness for how God was moving in our midst.  We are a small congregation, but we are endeavoring to focus on the assignments that God has given us.   This involves the training/raising of a good number of children/young people and it involves a passion for the world.   Someone shared over the weekend that if we didn't have a passion for the world (the whole wall) then we won't have a passion for our own locale (family/neighbors).

Because of this body's faithfulness, there are wallbuilders being prepared and wallbuilders being sent out by the help and grace of the Lord.   I will name some names.   Norma Beck has a daughter repairing walls in Taiwan and Dick Beck has a daughter repairing walls in Paulding, OH with the youth.   The McIntoshes have a son repairing walls in Fort Wayne, IN and a daughter ready to be sent to work for the Lord in Cincinnati and eventually overseas.  They have a daughter repairing walls in the business world of Defiance, OH.   There are 8 more yet to go out!  The Grahams are preparing wallbuilders with one or two already having their sights on the mission field.  The Jones have been assigned an especially deteriorated section of the wall and we have been amazed  at the speed and beauty of repairs! God is going to send them out.

This small church supports pro life mission work, a work in China, Rev. Schultze's newsletter to several countries and has sent out their own missionary to Thailand already!   Individuals support other mission works around the world.   Most of us are involved ourselves in investing time and finance in the pro-life cause in America.  We are a small congregation, but we are trying to focus on the children we have in our homes, the needs of families in our church, and trying to be a light in our community.   Do we still need some help?  Oh, yes, we really do.  However, I'm encouraged with the focus and the foundational work that's being done.   Because parents are focusing on raising their children well, they will be sent out with strength and purpose.  Praise the Lord!

I guess this blog is an attempt to encourage each of us not to try to fight battles that aren't ours or to throw up our hands in despair, but to look at the task at hand and put our heart into our work and see what God does with the results!   Think about it....what would happen if each family in our country focused on repairing it's walls and sending out properly equipped and prepared laborers for the harvest?   Just one block....one child....one family....one day....at a time.

Concealed Greatness

Concealed Greatness ( a letter to my father)

Some greatness is concealed.  Not to everybody, but to the majority.  God understands that.  He displays His greatness on a daily basis, but yet there is an element of concealment, and most are blind to the wonder of it all.  Yet He is still great and His goodness continues.

There are things that are ‘great’ in my memory of being your daughter.

You are big.   I always took pride in the fact that my daddy was ‘big’.  I loved hearing my peers exclaim, “He’s sooo tall!”  To, me it was so rewarding that they could see right away that you were special.

I loved your hands.  They are big too, and I loved the look of how big and strong they were.  I loved to hold that hand as we were coming and going.  I loved seeing your hand holding a pen and scribbling (yes, scribbling!) out your theological thoughts.   I liked seeing them working on projects around the house for mother or piddling with an engine or motor.

I remember the greatness of being held in your arms after a good spanking!   The spankings were definitely painful and did their work, but the rest I felt in my heart and the bonding I felt with you when being held afterward still warms me.

Bikes.  I remember dragging a junk bike across the Zeman Elementary school yard.  It was humiliating because this school had ritzy kids in it that would sneer at my bike and occasionally make mocking comments.  I think Esther told you what was going on, because it wasn’t long before you surprised me with a brand new cinnamon colored Schwinn ten speed!   I was struck as new things of any kind were a rarity at our house.  I felt loved and cared for.   I kept it for way too many years!!   Then a few years ago, you heard I was struggling keeping my balance on another old bike and you bought me a new ‘granny’ bike with all the bells and whistles!!  I love cruising on my bike and thinking of my Father’s love!

Extremism.  Within the Kingdom, it was ALL for God or not for God at all.  As a first generation Christian, you leaped the boundaries to do things that were quite unusual for one not raised in a Christian home.  You stepped in when the school called for dances or evolutionary science.  You taught us not to date when no one had heard of that before.  You prayed and praised loud, hard and long.  You uprooted your family and went to unfamiliar cities because you felt the call of God to do so.   Messages that were loud and clear to us on being cross cultural and of obedience to the Lord.

Humor.   Your dry sense of humor made me laugh and made me proud.

Time.  You valued us by spending family time and vacations, but we’ve talked about that before.  And then there were the Saturday mornings of tennis when I got older.

Now that I’m an ‘older’ adult, I enjoy these qualities in God.   He is BIG and I’m proud of that and thankful for his protection over us.  His hands are loving and caring.  His discipline is horrible just like yours but it brings good fruit.   He gives me good gifts like you have given me bikes.  He surprises me and blesses me beyond what I deserve.   God is radical and your example helps me accept and understand that.   God makes me laugh and gives me joy.  God cares enough of me to spend time with me and I know that’s true because my earthly Father thought I was valuable enough to do so.

All these lessons are learned and accepted as God intended.  HE  designed families and the father to teach the child about a relationship with God.  I praise the Lord that you have done well!

Thousands know and love you, but the greatness is still concealed to it’s full extent from many of them.  You aren’t a common name in the world …not even in the Christian world.  But, true greatness does not have to be well known to exist.

The Spirit of Adoption

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.  - Romans 8:15

God has adopted us into His family so we as families on earth should offer the same to orphans.  Adoption websites promote having the 'heart of God' toward the fatherless.  Pictures of cute, adorable and sometimes hungry children fill these sites.  We're encouraged to become that 'forever family' that will satisfy the needs of these orphan's hearts.  Very noble, isn't it?

Yes, it certainly is.

However if you know someone who has adopted or read books about the long term results of adoption, then you've probably learned 'the other side of the coin'.  Adopted children don't easily accept their new parents as their own.  They often reject and test the family's values in an extreme way.  These new members can intentionally or unintentionally bring division between existing siblings or between husband and wife. Even if that doesn't happen, the new parents can find themselves struggling in their marriage as a result of the stress of trying to win the child's heart and affections. The child often begins to long for his former family and their ways.  Upon reaching the teen years, the child can struggle with identity and often with appropriate boundaries.  It may take years for them to accept the new family.  And some never do.

Hey....if adoption is so much the heart of God, why is it so difficult and messy? Are we missing something?  Are we doing something wrong?

What does God do in the adoption process that works better?  He's the Perfect Parent, right?  He absolutely is.  That's why all of His adopted children assimilate all His values and trust Him completely and without hesitation.   Well.....maybe not quite.

In the last week, I've begun to realize why adoption can be so messy and heart rending.  It's not Plan A.  Plan A was for Adam and Eve not to sin.  Plan A was for the orphan's parents to provide a good, godly home for their children.

God's redemption plan is magnificent and some would say it really is Plan A.  I'm not going to get into that, but in all honesty, God's adopted children just aren't very cooperative.  Read the Bible.  Kings fall out of greed and lust for power and women.  God's chosen people complain and want back in Egypt to their old life and reject the abundant fruit of the promised land. And, just look around at the present church.  Once fruitful members, slip into temptation and sin.  People make decisions based on what they want rather than what God wants.  People are still uncertain about trusting God, the perfect Father, the omnipotent, omniscient One who knows nothing but Love.

It appears to me that for adoption to be fruitful, it involves the choice of the new parents to embrace the orphan as their own.  Then it involves the child receiving that gift and being willing to trust the parents to provide, guide and protect.  Not an easy thing when your heart has been broken by sin and tainted by sin's influences.  The gift of adoption must be nurtured by both the parent and the child.  It involves surrender to new authority, trust in an entity that is not familiar and obedience to new guidelines and processes.  When one side or the other does not nurture the gift and cooperate then the adoption process is less than God intended it to be.

As we see how messy things can get for humans and even when adopted into God's perfect family, we may want to shy away from taking on adoption ourselves.  Surely, by now, God has given up on the process Himself, right?  Enough of this ungrateful and rebellious response to such sacrificial love?  Yet God still adopts, risks and gives chances.

This is the love that needs to motivate us into earthly adoption.  An attitude that wants to give and wants to love with no guarantee of success or return.  Adoption should cause us to give our very best effort just because we value the person, the process and the God who created them both.  Church, let's keep adopting even when it's messy.  THIS is the spirit of adoption.

The Making of a Missionary Family

I was asked the question again, "To what do you attribute your children being around the world sharing the gospel?"   I often don't have an answer.   It's not exactly what I planned.   I probably don't need to tell you that there's no one set formula, and I probably also don't need to tell you that God doesn't call every family to this kind of mission work.  Missionaries we all must be, but 'where' is the  question.
But, as I was sitting at our dining room table with this friend, I started to recount some events that contributed to the making of this particular missionary family, the Litchfield tribe.

Not necessarily in the order of importance!  But all crucial in our situation!

1) Grandparents with a vision......Grandma Schultze was going to be a missionary nurse and Grandpa Schultze a medical doctor.  God didn't grant that specific desire, but the desire was sensed and passed along (on fire godly aunt and uncle didn't hurt anything either!)
2) German grandfather/pastor - No nonsense.  Black and white.  No excuses.  God speaks....you obey!!!  It doesn't matter what people think, how much it will cost you or even what YOU think....get over whatever it is and obey!!!
3) Marrying in God's will (again not essential for everyone but it sure helps!)  My parents and Don and I endeavored to marry who God wanted us to marry
4) Knowing the purpose of family.  Before I even married, the  question was on my mind.  Why have children?  To be honest a lot of them didn't look very enjoyable!  And to my teen mind they were an inconvenience.  Do we have children just so they can have children and so on?  I didn't have all the answers at the time, but as God unfolded our lives, we learned that children were to be born and raised with the purpose to serve God.... not us. 
5) Separateness from the world and much godly instruction.  In our family, home schooling and much training were involved.
6) Denny Kenaston's Godly Home Series.  When I would listen to these audio tapes, I would become so stirred by Denny's vision to send our children out to the far corners of the world to share the gospel.  My children heard me exhorting them after I would hear some of these messages!
7) Missionary biographies.   Most of our children's reading was educational in some way and that which was spiritual.  Missionary biographies were required reading as well as reading biographies of other great men and women of the faith.
8) Mission trips.  We took them on mission trips.  They went on some on their own.  They saw me weep when leaving countries because we couldn't do more.  They saw their father invest in lives of people he didn't know.  They ministered in song and deed to spiritually hungry people.  They sang with their grandpa in the open plazas in Europe and people would gather.
9) Honest hearts.  Okay.  This one could be essential.  We tried to have honest hearts and to respond to the Spirit even when others around us saw things differently.  We wanted Gods will personally and we were willing to make changes where necessary.
10) Heart ties.  We endeavored to love, understand and enable our children.

Probably not a comprehensive list.  But it's a start.  These 10 factors contributed greatly to what our children doing today.


 

Home and Family

Our homes and our family have played crucial parts in our lives.  Of  course, our children have entangled their way in our hearts, but also the homes that have been the framework for great memories.  First of all, the children.  We have invested much in raising our family.  It takes time, energy, patience, finance to home school.  And we felt the call of God to make that sacrifice.  Along with the investment came heart ties.  As the Word says: where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be.  We also felt the call to include them in ministry.  We took them with us to prayer meetings, local outreaches, and to mission trips overseas.  Again....more heart ties.  We invested in their physical bodies in the way of being involved in select sports activities and tried to develop gifts by taking them to special classes and to music lessons.  So much of our lives were spent....and with joy we did so.
Then God began to take our investments....away to other places.....ouch.  Too soon it happened.  The children were beginning to sound really good in their string ensembles.  Our maturing voices were blending well in song.  Their bodies were strong enough and capable enough to be helpful around the house and homestead.  Yet, there they went.  What we had built began to change form and to be reconstructed in other environments.  My footing was being shaken.  My grasp loosened on what I loved and gave myself to.
Then there were the homes.  The main home is the one we visited a weekend ago.  We spent most of our child raising years there.  The hands of our children had helped Don build an addition on the home.  Their hands had pulled nails out of the hardwood flooring we had installed.  They had nurtured baby goats, chicks, lambs and donkeys on the acres there.  The boys had helped string the fencing and stack the hay.  We had sung in the music room we had added on and they played instruments together.  In the living room, the Word had been opened for family devotions.  Youth groups had gathered.  We had family meetings planning how we could better serve the Lord and others.  A treehouse was built and a natural fort existed under the large, overgrown junipers.
The basement was used for friends to frolic in adverse weather.  We snuggled on the couch in front of the VHS movies we used for math.  We had wonderful believers to worship with.  The children's grandparents were nearby.

(This is the rear of the house now overgrown and vacant)

We had bought hand shovels to dig our pond in the side yard.  The front yard was used for soccer, volleyball and football with friends.
The dining room with it's cathedral ceiling was a gathering place nearly every week for fellow believers to fellowship as well as the setting for birthday dinners.
We dreamed of our grandchildren experiencing the same joys on that land.
Then God said, "Go."
Again what had become entangled in our hearts....through investment in the Kingdom things....had to be torn away.  We were leaving it for....we knew not what.

What is God doing?  Why doesn't it feel right?  In times like these, we learn what it really feels like to forsake all and follow God.  We learn what it means to not love the world or the things of the world.  We start to feel what God is saying when he says not to love your children and your family more than Him.  It hurts.  It's an adventure.

In retrospect, I can see how God is leading  and working.  Leaving this home brought us in contact with people that we needed to meet.  Our children found their companions through venturing away from us and home.  They found their callings.  I thought they should find all this right there in that home we had loved and worked in!!  Couldn't God do that?  But, no, it wasn't the way I imagined it or how I had planned it.
If we leave houses, lands and people, God will provide more in His time and His way.  But...I liked the ones I had.  Why did I want to leave them?  I didn't want to, but God called us out and He has given good fruit out of the obedience.

When I visited this former home a few weekends ago, our son, Jake, told us that the homestead where he has been living with his mother-in-law and family will most likely be sold when they move to Thailand.  Double grieving that weekend in my heart!  Look at this place!  
I'm not trying to be overly negative....I just want you to feel the cost.  A shaker shingle barn.

 A cabin on over 100 acres of woods.  Moose and bear coming through the pasture.  An old greenhouse to start plants in the cold springs of Maine.  Cousins for our grandkids walking distance down the lane.  Warm wood heat in winter and a wood stove for cooking and heating water. 

Going is leaving what is comfortable...but also it is a forsaking in the heart.  Yet, Jake and Naomi are gearing up to leave what is precious of this earth for eternal rewards....which they do not know yet what those will look like.   Are the rewards worth it??  Oh, yes!!  The people, experiences and spouses for our children are soooo worth it.  Yes, I would have preferred these things be provided WITHOUT me leaving what I loved.  But, that's not how God wanted to do it.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Discipling Those Arrows

I've been reading "Radical" by David Platt.  Yes, put it on your 'must-read' list!  If you've already read it, then you understand what I'm saying!

I'm one of those who has struggled with 'evangelism'.  I'm not good at cold turkey witnessing.  I want people to move in with me and then I can best reach them!  Thus we did foster care and other reaching out.  But, I felt like a failure because I wasn't winning more people.  Platt's book is helping me be more encouraged....and challenged.  The type of discipleship I prefer is the kind He encourages.  The challenge to me is to do more of it and make more of a conscious effort to pursue the deeper relationships that I feel more comfortable sharing the gospel inside of.

Platt reminds us that at the end of Jesus life, He didn't tell the Father how many people He had healed or how many huge crowds He had spoken to.  He told the Father how He had been faithful to the 12 men that God had given them and only one had been lost (Judas).

Maybe this is a good sign that we need to quit putting ourselves on a guilt trip that we haven't performed miracles or preached to thousands, and start trying to disciple those God has put across our path.

Read this quote:

"The more I read the Gospels, the more I marvel at the simple genius of what Jesus was doing with His disciples.  My mind tends to wander toward grandiose dreams and intricate strategies, and I'm struck when I see Jesus simply, intentionally, systematically, patiently walking alongside twelve men.  Jesus reminds me that disciples are not mass produced.  Disciples of Jesus - genuine, committed, self-sacrificing followers of Christ - are not made overnight.
Making disciples is not an easy process.  It is trying. It is messy.  It is slow, tedious, even painful at times.  It is all these things because it is relational."

Now reread the quote above, and think about it in relation to raising children for the Lord.  Are our own children not multiplying the Gospel?  Isn't it messy and trying at times?  Should we be dreaming about reaching the world and neglecting those young branches He has put right in our home?

Here's more:

"He spent three years with twelve guys.  If the Son of God thought it necessary to focus his life on a small group of men, we are fooling ourselves to think we can mass-produce disciples today.  God's design for taking the gospel to the world is a slow, intentional, simple process that involves every one of his people sacrificing every facet of their lives to multiply the life of Christ in others."

Praise the Lord!   It's more 'doable' than we thought!  And it's more 'tedious and systematic' than some of us thought too.  What a great example Jesus was! 

What if we don't have arrows to whittle and refine?  Get to know your neighbor....WELL.  Co-workers, cousins, acquaintances at church, etc.  Platt's book will give you more ideas and challenge you to use your gifts globally to 'make disciples'.

Praise the Lord for Jesus training those 12 disciples!  Then the Holy Spirit took them and Christianity has spread like wildfire!  Let the Holy Spirit take the discipling we've done and bring the increase!

 

Missing Those Arrows

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:4,5

I am happy with the arrows the Lord has given me.  One in Northern Ireland, one in India, one in Guatemala and one soon to go to Thailand.  And then one arrow still being whittled and carved into straightness.  And, oh! how I'm thankful for the beautiful arrows which have entered our family through marriage!

Yet, lately I have really been feeling the loss of the arrows that I did not put into my quiver.  After bearing four children, I listened to the worldly culture and the church culture and chose to put an end to Don's and my childbearing.  My husband was not wanting to quit, but I yielded to my own fleshly fears and to the pressures of others.   Let's face it, having babies and nurturing them is hard work!!  Yet, I have had to seek forgiveness for my lack of belief.

If God would have granted us more arrows, where would they have gone?  Perhaps they would have been helpers to their older siblings in other lands.  They could be helping the needy around home.  There is an elderly woman or two that I could be sending children to help.  My husband could have a 'young helper' on his construction projects.  Perhaps they would be an encouragement to other young people in our church.  At Operation Save America, I kept thinking of how some extra arrows would be good in the battle for life.  Not to mention countries afar that may need a missionary.  

I'm not intending to wallow in regrets, but I believe the mourning is appropriate for a time.  It's probably a bigger loss than I even realize.  That said, I believe and see God working out His alternate plan in my life.  He's giving me other children to watch out for and to influence.  He is showing me ways to use my extra time in ways that glorify Him.  I'm thankful for His mercy and grace.  But, perhaps on judgment day, the glory I gave up in missing those arrows will be revealed to me and those tears will have to be wiped from my eyes.

Until then, I choose to rejoice in God's grace, praise God for the arrows I have, pray for the grandchild arrows I've been given, love and serve other's children that are in my life, and continue to use my gifts and time for the Kingdom.  I rejoice that with our present children/grandchildren, we have been able to propagate over a dozen times!  And Mikah and Ariana haven't even begun to help us out yet! :-)  The work of Christ must be multiplied by the lost being saved, but also by believers training up a godly seed.   What a mighty God we serve.  I mess up and fail, but He does all things well!