As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:4,5
I am happy with the arrows the Lord has given me. One in Northern Ireland, one in India, one in Guatemala and one soon to go to Thailand. And then one arrow still being whittled and carved into straightness. And, oh! how I'm thankful for the beautiful arrows which have entered our family through marriage!
Yet, lately I have really been feeling the loss of the arrows that I did not put into my quiver. After bearing four children, I listened to the worldly culture and the church culture and chose to put an end to Don's and my childbearing. My husband was not wanting to quit, but I yielded to my own fleshly fears and to the pressures of others. Let's face it, having babies and nurturing them is hard work!! Yet, I have had to seek forgiveness for my lack of belief.
If God would have granted us more arrows, where would they have gone? Perhaps they would have been helpers to their older siblings in other lands. They could be helping the needy around home. There is an elderly woman or two that I could be sending children to help. My husband could have a 'young helper' on his construction projects. Perhaps they would be an encouragement to other young people in our church. At Operation Save America, I kept thinking of how some extra arrows would be good in the battle for life. Not to mention countries afar that may need a missionary.
I'm not intending to wallow in regrets, but I believe the mourning is appropriate for a time. It's probably a bigger loss than I even realize. That said, I believe and see God working out His alternate plan in my life. He's giving me other children to watch out for and to influence. He is showing me ways to use my extra time in ways that glorify Him. I'm thankful for His mercy and grace. But, perhaps on judgment day, the glory I gave up in missing those arrows will be revealed to me and those tears will have to be wiped from my eyes.
Until then, I choose to rejoice in God's grace, praise God for the arrows I have, pray for the grandchild arrows I've been given, love and serve other's children that are in my life, and continue to use my gifts and time for the Kingdom. I rejoice that with our present children/grandchildren, we have been able to propagate over a dozen times! And Mikah and Ariana haven't even begun to help us out yet! :-) The work of Christ must be multiplied by the lost being saved, but also by believers training up a godly seed. What a mighty God we serve. I mess up and fail, but He does all things well!
Psalm 127:4,5
I am happy with the arrows the Lord has given me. One in Northern Ireland, one in India, one in Guatemala and one soon to go to Thailand. And then one arrow still being whittled and carved into straightness. And, oh! how I'm thankful for the beautiful arrows which have entered our family through marriage!
Yet, lately I have really been feeling the loss of the arrows that I did not put into my quiver. After bearing four children, I listened to the worldly culture and the church culture and chose to put an end to Don's and my childbearing. My husband was not wanting to quit, but I yielded to my own fleshly fears and to the pressures of others. Let's face it, having babies and nurturing them is hard work!! Yet, I have had to seek forgiveness for my lack of belief.
If God would have granted us more arrows, where would they have gone? Perhaps they would have been helpers to their older siblings in other lands. They could be helping the needy around home. There is an elderly woman or two that I could be sending children to help. My husband could have a 'young helper' on his construction projects. Perhaps they would be an encouragement to other young people in our church. At Operation Save America, I kept thinking of how some extra arrows would be good in the battle for life. Not to mention countries afar that may need a missionary.
I'm not intending to wallow in regrets, but I believe the mourning is appropriate for a time. It's probably a bigger loss than I even realize. That said, I believe and see God working out His alternate plan in my life. He's giving me other children to watch out for and to influence. He is showing me ways to use my extra time in ways that glorify Him. I'm thankful for His mercy and grace. But, perhaps on judgment day, the glory I gave up in missing those arrows will be revealed to me and those tears will have to be wiped from my eyes.
Until then, I choose to rejoice in God's grace, praise God for the arrows I have, pray for the grandchild arrows I've been given, love and serve other's children that are in my life, and continue to use my gifts and time for the Kingdom. I rejoice that with our present children/grandchildren, we have been able to propagate over a dozen times! And Mikah and Ariana haven't even begun to help us out yet! :-) The work of Christ must be multiplied by the lost being saved, but also by believers training up a godly seed. What a mighty God we serve. I mess up and fail, but He does all things well!
